By Adam Bookbinder

This may be our favorite month of the year.

International Masturbation Month, formerly known as National Masturbation Month, was started by San Francisco’s Good Vibrations sex shop in 1995 in response to the firing of Surgeon General Jocelyn Elder’s for saying masturbation is “part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”

It’s all about spreading the good word about the touching subject.

Below are ten masturbation songs in honor of this glorious month:

“I Touch Myself” by Divinyls

“I don’t want anybody else, When I think about you I touch myself, I don’t want anybody else, Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

“Blister In The Sun” by Violent Femmes

“Body and beats, I stain my sheets, I don’t even know why, My girlfriend, she’s at the end, she is starting to cry, Let me go on like I blister in the sun, Let me go on, big hands, I know you’re the one.”

“Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol

“When there’s no one else in sight, In the crowded lonely night, Well I wait so long for my love vibration, And I’m dancing with myself.”

“My Ding A Ling” by Chuck Berry

“Oh my ding a ling, Everybody sing, I wanna play with my ding a ling a ling, My ding a ling, my ding a ling, I wanna play with my ding a ling a ling.”

“She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper

“Well I see them every night in tight blue jeans, In the pages of a blue boy magazine, Hey I’ve been thinkin’ of a new sensation, I’m pickin’ up good vibrations, Oop she bop she bop.

“Longview” by Green Day

“Sit around and watch the phone, but no one’s calling, Call me pathetic, call me what you will, My mother says to get a job, But she don’t like the one she’s got, When masturbation’s lost its fun.”

“Thinking About You” by Radiohead

“But I’m playing with myself, and what do you care, When the other men are far, far better.”

“Captain Jack” by Billy Joel

“Your sister’s gone out, she’s on a date, You just sit at home and masturbate, Your phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can’t wait, For that call.”

“Praying Hands” by Devo

“While the left hand diddling, While the right hand goes to work, I said the left hand diddling now, While the right hand go to work.”

“Darling Nikki” by Prince

“I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend, I met her in a hotel lobby, Masturbating with a magazine, She said, ‘How’d you like to waste some time?’ And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind.”


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