Spring is here and with the warmer weather comes the urge to spruce up your backyard. You’ve revamped the greenery, purchased a high-tech BBQ, and actually cleaned the pool for once.

But, you feel like something is missing. Some flair, perhaps? What about a giant, creepy bronze fish that Madonna posed on naked in 1992 for her infamous SEX book?

If you have more than $9,500 to spare, Otto, the “Great Bronze Fish,” could possibly be yours. That number is the current amount someone has bid on the giant fish–and that bidder is the only one–but we’re certain the price will be going up.

Otto’s owner wrote a riveting recap of Otto’s experience with the Queen of Pop from the perspective of the inanimate fish. In it, Otto recounts his “intimate contact” with the star and how his owner bought him in 1990 to “dazzle at this oceanfront pool.”

“I was very fortunate to have participated in the photo-shoot at his house for an important part of the SEX book. (And my owner has the provenance to document the veracity of my fish tale.) However, my old master is moving on and I must now share my affair to remember at a new home,” said the “fish.”

“It’s been over 21 years,” continued Otto. “But I still savor the memory of Madonna’s naked body, and I am definitely better for the experience. Trust me, Madonna was superfine in her prime and now you can amuse and delight yourself and your friends by re-creating the iconic pose that captured her so beautifully. You will be the auteur as I’m ready and primed for new adventures!”

If you’re interested in purchasing Otto, you have 5 days. Check out the fishie here–and a SFW edited picture of Madonna in her SEX photoshoot.

–Nadia Noir, CBS Radio Los Angeles


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